It's A Man's World

Women's Libber I am not. I grew up with a daddy who "took care of things". Cars, yard work, broken stuff, bills... he was the one who did them. It's an "expectation" of mine (very important to be aware of these in your relationships I've learned) that the boyfriend, husband, etc will generally be in charge of these things. Therefore, I didn't spend a lot of time learning them.


Oops.

Currently there is water in the tub from the shower I took an hour ago that hasn't drained because the  tub is clogged (again), I had to hire someone to cut the yard , said yard guy just called as he was leaving to say that he saw two baby snakes in the yard, the air conditioner in my car is not working right,  and just all the countless other things that it would be nice to have some help with.

Being on my own again stinks in so many crazy ways. BUT,  I am going to make it through and Im going to be ok. I don't know how Im going to handle all these things just yet, but I will. I am sure I will go all about it the wrong way and some major lessons will be learned as well. Lucky for ya'll there's likely to be numerous blog posts from all of these adventures!

What Im Loving Wednesday

I'm joining Jamie again for her fun link up!

I didn't make it last week - still trying to get back in the swing of blogging! Here are just a few of the many things I'm loving today..............


I'm loving that today is actually Wednesday. No lie, I spent all day yesterday thinking it was Wednesday.
                                        

I'm loving that I am a member of such a special extended family - the Auburn family. This past weekend thousands of Auburn fans - family members - gathered together to celebrate and to say farewell to the two oaks that have been the sight of so many celebrations related to our university. It was an amazing display of the Auburn spirit. Look at this great picture of the crowd!

                                    

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I'm loving these Auburn inspired Pinterest finds

                                                         

I <3 me some warblogle

                                       

                                                                

Pretty sure I am the only person in the world who doesn't own Toms, but I might get a pair of these!

                                               

The link says these are not available, but there are tons of other great things at the AU Bookstore. Aren't these tees the cutest though? I hope they get more in stock!

                                                              

Always. No matter what. BE ALL IN. 

And finally, I'm loving all of the sweet comments I got on this post from last week. I wrote that post in the Subway parking lot on my lunch break, but it was one of those "I've just got to write it" moments. Thank you for your sweet words!


Keep on loving friends!
Christy

Saturday Smiles

Four posts in and I've already broken at least two of the cardinal rules of blogging: too serious and not enough pictures. So, to make this little bloggy of mine more appealing to lots of people, here are some pictures of a ridiculously cute kid eating a ridiculously big piece of cake. Smile on people, smile on!

I Hate To Run

I hate to run. I hate it because I have flat feet and something in my left foot hurts so terribly when I run that I sometimes have to stop. I hate to run because I can't always coordinate my breathing and sometimes it feels like I'm going to pass out because of it. I hate running because I am overweight and out of shape and I have lots of extra bouncy places. I hate to run because it is hard and I don't like to do things that are hard. I hate to run.

But today? Today I will run.

I will run because even though my foot hurts I still have a foot. I will run because my heart and my lungs are fully functioning and I have the ability to breathe in and out on my own. I will run because there is a sweet little 8 year old child and two other souls that will never run again. I will run because so many people ran, without thinking of their own safety, to help those injured. I will run for those who were inches, feet, or miles from the finish line of something they had trained for and dreamed of doing for years and didn't get to cross. I will run for those who kept running because they Just had to cross that line. Today I will run to show whomever did this that they will never win. They will not take away the life that we have been blessed with and they will not take away our spirit. Today I will run for Boston.

Today, I.Will.Run.


Peace and love to all,
Christy

To All the Ones I've Judged Before

I am a goody two shoes. It's been  character trait of mine for as long as I can remember, but I think I really started developing into Miss GTS in middle school - 7th grade maybe. That's the time frame that I remember first being aware of other people and of differences that we have. I remember wanting to have the best clothes and the best hair and being friends with all of the other "best" people. For some reason it was so important to me - like it made me someone special. I was a pretty good student and actually loved to learn. Save a few reprimands for talking in class, late or missing homework, or something like that, I rarely got into trouble. Teachers loved me and I loved them. I'm sure I was pretty annoying to most of the kids around me.

Something else happened around that time - I found Jesus religion. In actuality, I had been baptized a few years before that, but again, around the 7th grade is where my memories of becoming active in youth group and church is strongest. And that's when instead of just being Miss Goody Two Shoes, I won the coveted title of Miss Holier than Thou.

 I wasn't promiscuous, I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, I didn't get into the trouble that most teenagers in a small town get in to. In fact, I distinctly remember an incident where I was hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends and they decided to roll some one's yard - something I had NEVER done.These days rolling a yard is kind of a thing to indicate that you are liked but then, it was still something you did to people you weren't quite fond of, or people you wanted to make fun of. Anyway, I didn't know this is what they were going to do and when I figured it out, I started crying and I insisted they take me home.

Because they were rolling some one's yard. *sigh* 

But you know what? I wasn't all that great of a person - I judged. I judged those kids who would go to youth but would cuss in the halls (hypocrites).  I judged that group of kids who I knew drank and liked to party on the weekends (heathens. I am so much better than them) I judged those girls who I *thought* slept around (True love waits. They are tarnished and I am not so I am so much better than them). Oh, I didn't do it intentionally or out of malice for anyone. I thought what I was doing was in the name of the Lord. I was navigating my journey to be the "best Christian ever" by the "thou shalt not" verses in stead of the  "love thy neighbor" and "judge not" ones.
But it didn't stop there. Even after high school - through college and after I carried this attitude with me, even though I was NOT the goody two shoes I once was. There were a few things that I swore I would NEVER do and I continued on silently judging and criticizing my way through life. I judged the girls who got married and stayed at home (I'm leaving this little town and getting an education, I am so much better than them)... the girls who got pregnant before they got married? (That's what they get for being irresponsible. They are going to be miserable. I am so much better than them) and the couples that got divorced (they didn't try hard enough...they didn't have God in their relationship.. they got married too soon - I will never get a divorce I am so much better than that).........

And...now, here I am. Here I am going through something that others have gone through before me. Here I am as a Christian who struggled so very very much with the breakdown of my marriage and the decision to get a divorce.I struggle with it every.single.day. I struggle with  what my precious God thinks and how sorry I am that I broke this covenant that we made before Him. I struggle with how to handle the relationship with my ex - someone that I still care so much about. I struggle with how to continue loving his family and how to handle holidays and what to do with the taxes this year and how to handle the bills and how to change my name and what to do with the wedding pictures and how to split the furniture and how to not miss my dog and how and when to start dating again and ........what will everybody think?

"I don't want to be judged. Oh, please, don't let them judge me". It's what kept me from opening up to anyone for so long about our struggles. Part of what kept me from telling anyone other than my closest friends and family. I would see these posts on Facebook - you know the Marriage Works ones? I would see them and I would cry or my heart would flutter and I would think - I can't put this out there. Everyone will know that I have failed as a woman, a wife, and as a Christian. 

Once I started to open up and people began to realize what was going on, a few old friends and classmates contacted me -
"I'm sorry you are going through this"
"I know how you feel. I just went through the same thing"
"If you'd like to talk I'm here"
"I know what you are going through and it's so tough. If you need anything I'm here"

These sweet, kind words came from people that had been through this before me. Some of them were people that I judged previously for things they had been through and now they were reaching out to me! They were not judging as I did - they were offering me encouragement. What a testament! What an eye opening moment for me.

Thankfully, I have some amazing people around me. I was able to realize that we had done everything that we could to fix what was broken. I was able to gather peace that my God loves me still and with Him and the help of these amazing people around me, I will get through this. But most importantly, I realized this: I am no where near better than ANYONE else. That's not what being a Christian is about. Should we as Christians turn our heads at things that are truly against God's ways and just ignore them? No, of course not. But what we should NOT do is put ourselves above anyone else simply because we have chosen to follow Jesus and they have not. Or believe that there is some sort of award for the Christian with the least sins committed. We all have different ways of getting into our valleys and of getting out of them, but at some point, we all face them. We all have similar fears and insecurities and we all have enough to worry about without caring what other people think of us.
So, please let me say this to all the ones I have judged before...
I AM SO SORRY AND I LOVE YOU. 
I see things so differently now and I am so ashamed of some of my past thoughts and actions.

And this:
 I cuss sometimes when I don't even mean to - I like to drink sometimes and I have been involved in a raucous party or two - I understand how emotions and feelings can take over common sense - it really could have happened to so many people, they just didn't get "caught" - I am so proud and amazed that you were able to be an amazing wife and mom and get your degree and make such a profound impact on that little town you live in - I don't know how you do it being a single mom you are amazing! - I bet you guys tried as hard as you can to make it work. I am so sorry that it didn't...God loves you and so do I.






~Until a later day sweet friends
Christy

What I'm Loving Wednesday- The Master's Edition

When I was blogging before, I enjoyed linking up with Jamie and her super sweet blog party

I'm happy to be linking up again! This week, I am LOVING that it's Master's Week in beautiful Augusta!!      So, today, I'm going to do a Master's themed WILW 

First, I'm LOVING that the azaleas are in FULL BLOOM for the tournament and around town. It's no Mobile, AL (wink) but it is a really, really, close second!

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This beauty is in my front yard. My mama would be proud!

I'm LOVING the pictures I've seen of former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice in her green jacket

Good move, Augusta National Golf Club!

I'm LOVING, LOVING, LOVING this tear inducing video of last year's Master's champion Bubba Watson

at the press conference yesterday answering the question "what's the most interesting thing you did with or in your green jacket?" - it's important to remember that Bubba and his wife had just adopted their son Caleb 13 days before his win last year. ~ I dare you not to cry

 I'm LOVING these green jacket inspired outfits I found on Pinterest

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And finally, I'm LOVING that I have a small, yet amazing group of people here in Augusta who love me and accept me exactly as I am and who encourage me to just keep on keeping on. I am thankful for every tear they have sat through and for every smile they have induced. 

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Until we meet again ~

Christy

First Things First

Well, hello there again blog world! Welcome to my little bloggy! Please bear with me as I get it back into working order - they've changed a few things since I was last on here!

       Let's start at the beginning... a very fine place to start.....

Well, I guess I should start by just putting it out there - I am...... divorced. Everything was finalized in February and I'm just now starting to feel like my life is getting back in order.  For a while, my life was a dizzying tornado of ups and downs and twists and turns. The air around me was black and gray and thick with debris - sometimes the pressure from the storm was so strong I couldn't breathe and there were times I thought I'd never make it out. Thankfully, though, through God's grace and the love of my close friends and family, I am here... the sky is blue... and the winds have died down to just a gentle breeze with a few small gusts every now and then. 

I know many of you who may read this blog will be surprised about that information or are eager to know just what happened. If you are truly interested and concerned about what happened, you may contact me privately with your questions or thoughts. There will never be anything negative posted on here about my ex husband as I still care for him very much - we remain good friends and the divorce was extremely difficult for us both. Don't get excited - there was no scandal involved. Just two people who care deeply for one another, but ultimately, it was not meant to be.

Why would I even mention that? Well, I debated putting it out there.... wanted to keep everything just kind of superficial, but when I think of the blogs that I love to read.... the ones I enjoy the most are the ones that are truthful and real. I remember reading through blogs and few years ago and just getting so sad and jealous that everyone out there seemed to have the perfect life - the perfect husband, the perfect job, the perfect house - you name it. Things were just getting hard for me and I had a difficult time embracing my life because I felt that I must be the only person out there going through what I was going through. I was comparing myself to all of these "perfect" people online and began to believe that somewhere I had truly messed things up. I tried to fake it on my blog... but it soon got to be too difficult to continue with the pretend game, so I stopped blogging. I love the outlet of writing - it's something I've always, always loved to do and I began to miss it. I missed the creativity of it and I realized that I'm pretty opinionated and have a lot of things to say. So, I began thinking about starting it up again. When I finally decided to do it - I told myself that I was going to "keep it real" this time. So what if I share too much personal information or if I say something someone does not agree with once or twice? It's my outlet, and for all of those people who have never struggled with some of the things I'll talk about on here.... I bet there is another person who has. And that person may see what I have to write and think "wow... I thought I was the only one".... and with that, the horrible, terrible feeling they have may find a little comfort. And THAT is what I hope for. 

Thanks for stopping by my lovelies~ I hope to see you again soon!

Christy